Loneliness, Tests and Tumblr

Do you ever just feel like you're stopped?
Like the whole world is moving on and making memories and experiencing things and you're just... not.

Sometimes I feel so alone that it exhausts me.
I can't fathom being loved by another.
I can't imagine being looked at and admired for being 100% me.
No one has ever liked me.

I like me.
Why doesn't anyone else.

I have to take another silly standardized test tomorrow that is going to supposedly tell me how fit I am to receive academic benefits from some college. Based on my last score of a test of this nature, I have no where to go but up.

Standardize tests really irritate me.
Like, how dare you tell me, based on four hours of tedious shifting in plastic chairs under fluorescent lights, how well I will succeed in college and eventually, life?


All in all, they just give me high amounts of anxiety, which I definitely don't need more of.

I'm becoming concerned for said test, because I am currently experiencing the worst back/stomach ache of my life and I'm having feelings associated with passing out.
Thankfully, I'm laying in my mess of a bed in my mess of a room, so if I do pass out, I'll just doze off.
Until 6:30 am, that is. (my wake up time for said dreaded test)

I've had quite a few days off lately, mostly due to a large snowstorm. These days off have given me the chance to become acquainted with a new Netflix show. My most recent favorite has been "New Girl". It's typically on FOX on Tuesdays I believe, and it's such a great show. Genuine humor, great story lines, and loveable characters. AKA everything I love in a TV show. Highly recommend. I'm only about halfway through season 2, but I'm catching up. I think season 3 is currently on TV now.

Over my days off, I've downloaded some new music.
 Side note: When I say "new music", I mean new to me. It could be from 2006. Who knows. Not me.

Funny thing, all of my new songs happen to be Ed Sheeran songs. I couldn't love him more plus there is no relationship that I ship more than Sweeran (Taylor Swift + Ed Sheeran)

A few of my faves

"Firefly"
"Gold Rush"
"Tenerife Sea" (This is supposedly his song for Taylor) awwww

Basically, Ed Sheeran's songs have the power to make me wish I was in a relationship where someone would sing about how my lips taste like strawberries and how my hair falls on my shoulders.

Naturally, no matter how many compliments on my long blonde hair I get, I am yet again, invisible.

Tumblr is one of my few pleasures these days.
I have to have some time on it each day. It calms me down.
It gives me hope.
I think it reminds me of all I love about love and all the things I want for my life.

If you're not familiar with my Tumblr, here's the link.

http://glitteronmynail.tumblr.com

*shameless promotion never gets old haha

It's funny because I am hardly on Instagram but I'm on Tumblr 24/7. I guess I care more about the things I love in life than some sophomore's #SelfieSunday.

I've been rather rambly throughout this post but a good ramble is good for you from time to time.
I hope you all are well, and if you've made it this far in my post thank you so much and I'm glad one person cares about my bizarre thoughts.

If you have any bizarre thoughts of your own, feel free to leave them in the comments, my tumblr ask box.

I'd love to hear, and I find the lives of others intriguing, so please share.

Take a deep breath and enjoy the weekend.

i love you guys

XOXO