An Open Letter to Boys, Guys, and Men

Us girls, we're not that complex. Honestly, we're more like you that you may think. We're not perfect and each of us knows it. We're gross and weird and we confuse you. We do most things for unexplainable reasons. Truth be told, girls are simple. Like you guys, we're human and are all after the happiness and bliss we've only heard about. 

First off, never ask a girl for her number over social media. Especially if that's the only way you know her. Do not leave a girl a DM on twitter telling her she "pretty cute" and that you want her to "hit you up sometime." If your girl knows whats good for her, she isn't a fan of being called cute. Puppies are cute, babies are cute, your grandma's cute. If this girl was enough to catch your attention, she must be stunning. Tell her that. There isn't a more insincere way to ask a girl for her phone number than leaving her a message on social media. Not only does this not require any social interaction, but she can't hear you say it. Just to hear you ask her for her number will make her smile and endear you to her even more. Charming the girl is half the battle. 

When you find that you do want to talk to her, don't text her. Typed out messages where each letter is digital and identical means nothing in the grand scheme of things. (I must laugh at the irony in that statement as I write a blog post). The long "heartfelt" text messages that girls lust over is bullshit. Anyone can type. Typed words aren't to be trusted. You could have copied and pasted that. If you want to tell her how beautiful you think she is when she's doing what she loves and how you like the way she still counts on her fingers. Tell her how she caught your attention and look her in the eyes that you find so hypnotizing when you tell her this. Tell her that you're lucky to have her around. Let her know that you're just lucky to have her company. Sometimes it's refreshing to be with a guy that isn't always checking you out and trying to pull a move every time he sees you. Learn to appreciate her mind and voice. I would rather spend my night recalling what your voice sounded like when we laughed together than read over your mindless messages that you ended with a generic haha. 

Believe it or not, girls are born to be worriers. She's worried about her grades, friends, appearance, reputation all the time. Like you, she's trying to be the best for everybody. She'll wear a dress and you'll admire how beautiful she looks in it, but she'll sit there pulling at it all day still unsure if she looks okay. Most girls have had to ignore a catcall or something of that nature at least once in her life. There is nothing that can make you more uncomfortable that unwanted suggestive comments. 
Please never ever ever say or do anything sexual or suggestive to a girl without her consent. You will ruin her day and she'll never forget it. And despite what the a-holes of the world think, it is in no way taken as a compliment. If you think a girl is sexy, you better ask her on a date and leave her flowers at her door every night. You better work for it. Guys want it easy. Don't be the guy that wants so much out of a girl but doesn't work at it. Your girl will want to if you approach it right. No girl is an item and never forget that you wouldn't be on this earth if it weren't for the selflessness of a woman. 

Never make fun of or mock a girl on her period. Period jokes are for girls and stay between girls. We can joke about it because we're the ones that have our inner organs bleed out for a week straight. When this starts to be a thing with you, you're more than welcome to join in on the jokes but in the meantime, I better not hear you utter a foul word about whether a girl is or is not on her period. She'll cry for no reason and probably be very irritable but she 100% can't help it so stop acting like she can. PMS is a weird thing and it sucks. She knows. Periods feel like the devil is inside of you and is killing you from the inside out by taking your lower body organs and wrapping them around themselves. Some girls pass out it gets so bad. Monthly. It's hell and if your girl asks you to go buy her some tampons, you do it. There's no need to be embarrassed, good lord. People know they're not for you so don't even go down that path. Buying a girl feminine supplies is one of the most overrated and kindest things a man can do for a woman.

Every girl wants love. They want that person who makes life bearable and worth it. That person who makes her feel less alone. 
Please be that person for her. Be the one who will tell the same joke over and over just because you like the way her eyes light up when she giggles at it. Memorize her favorite coffee order and she'll memorize yours. Ask her about her life and her parents and what her best friend is like. Ask her how she grew up. Let yourself wonder how she came to be this person you find so admirable.  Ask her about her hard times and what scares her the most. Ask her what her favorite smell is and let her tell you the story of how she broke her arm when she was seven. Ask her what her favorite song is and listen to it. It could be the worst song in the world but it matters to her. Figure out why. 

Spend time wondering about her. 
There is so much unexplored. 
Every girl has a thousand untold stories. 

Teach her and she will teach you. Show her the things you love and let her fall in love with your passion for college basketball or rock music. Make her eat flaming hot nachos just for your own amusement. Make that a day you'll remember forever. Don't be afraid to tell her what you're afraid of that you're not very good at math. Don't change because she actually does like the way you're never perfect because neither is she. Fall in love with someone who laughs at the same things you do and never stop trying to make her smile. She'll probably always be a little bit of a mystery to you but be consistent for her and you'll be all each other ever needs. 

Let her become your best friend. The one you want. 
Soon you'll start to see yourself in her and you'll smile because now you're apart of her story and she's apart of yours. 

Let her be her and love her for it and I promise once you understand that any girl wants is sincerity and someone who will look up from his phone long enough to hold the door for her, you will find her. 

You'll know her when you see her.